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Friday, November 4, 2011

The Triple Baby Shower

Wow, time is flying by so fast it's really unbelievable.  It's hard to believe that our triple baby shower was now 2 weeks ago and I still haven't written a post about it.  Well, here goes!

Just to catch everyone up to speed, my SIL and BIL's wife are both also pregnant.  There was much drama around that at the beginning (see here and here), but I've been trying to focus on my own pregnancy and not get all drawn into the circus that 3 pregnancies at the same could easily become.  Soon after learning we were all pregnant, my MIL announced that we'd be having a triple baby shower since we were due so close together.  She didn't ask if this was okay, but basically just said that it would be 'easier' for everyone if we had one big shower all together.  I didn't handle this well at first, for numerous reasons.  However, J and I decided that it would be better to just go along with it instead of stirring things up.  I know my MIL is just really excited about being a grandparent for the first time, but in all her excitement I think she forgets about what J and I went through to get here and how that has affected us. 

They ended up inviting my mom to attend the Baby Shower, which was a nice surprise because previously my MIL told my BIL's wife that her mom and sister would not be invited.  Strange, right?  Anyways I was really glad that my mom was able to come with me since I was not feeling well the weekend of the shower.  My mom actually suggested that I not go if I was really worried about it, but if you knew my MIL you'd know there was no way I could do that.  I'd never ever hear the end of it.  I didn't end up telling her about my contractions because I knew she would tell everyone about it and be all overdramatic which would not be helpful.  Plus when I saw her on Saturday, the very first words out of her mouth were, "So, any complications?"  Really?  J's face was priceless.  I just say, "No, everything's great."  I feel bad lying to her, but really? 

The next day was the triple baby shower.  It actually ended up being okay.  The baby and I received lots of wonderful gifts and it was also nice to be able to visit with lots of J's family members who we don't see that often and we won't be seeing again for a while since I can't travel for the holidays this year.  They really wanted everyone to open gifts one at a time so everyone could see what people got.  I agree that this would typically be a great idea, but seriously, it would have turned into like a six hour shower.  After my SIL finished opening her gifts, my BIL's wife and I suggested that she and I both open at the same time.  It seemed like this really helped to speed things up. 

I was most worried that people would assume that we were going to use J's name for the baby.  J's family has a long tradition (4 generations) of naming the first boy baby a certain name.  We are not planning to do this, but have been worried his family would just assume we were going to.  This was not mentioned at all.  No one asked me what names we were considering, so I'm not sure if that's because they assume we'll use J's name or not.  Regardless, I guess they'll just be surprised when the baby makes his debut. 

A few things happened that were less than pleasant, but oh well:
* I wasn't feeling the greatest.  I'm just really grateful that my contractions have stopped and my doctor thinks everything is okay with the baby.
* Everyone was constantly talking about how fun it will be to all have babies at the same time.  Again, it's not that I don't think it will be nice as the kids grow up to have them be close to the same age, but it's not like we planned for this to happen (which I think some people assume we did). 
* Comments from obviously fertile people!  There was some big story about someone's 'friend' who couldn't get pregnant so they decided to adopt, hire a surrogate, and do fertility treatments all at the same time.  They ended up with four babies at once.  My MIL and SIL were the ones sharing the story (they heard it from someone else) and they both know what J and I went through.  How could they think that would be a helpful story?  My MIL even compared herself to the couple in the story by saying, "it's like me, I never thought I would have grandchildren and now I'm having 3 at once."  Well, not the same, but okay.  Sigh!  I just wish she would think about how the things she says might make J and I feel.  Oh well, I don't think that will ever change.

All, in all, the shower ended up being nice and J and I were extremely thankful for all of the wonderful gifts that we received for the baby. 


  1. Wow, that must have been one interesting shower!!! In laws are crazy sometimes. I am glad you survived it!

  2. Oh my goodness. Family and fertile people can be so nutty!! And I can't stand it when they expect something of should be able to do what you want. I'm glad it ended up being okay. I hope the contractions stay away!

  3. I'm glad it went better than expected :) I get the family drama...we are in the same boat. SIL is pregnant and due January 5, we're due February 29 and BIL's girlfriend (not a surprise, but planned because who needs marriage?!) is due in early April. Thankfully, no triple showers for us. I went to SIL's shower this weekend and surprisingly a lot of people knew about our troubles getting pregnant and surprised me by telling me they had prayed for us and were excited about this baby. It was nice to hear and not to overshadow SIL, but nice to know people are excited for us too since SIL stopped BC in March and was pregnant by April!