Lilypie First Birthday tickers

Lilypie First Birthday tickers

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Sometimes They Just Can't Relate

I think it's amazing how no matter what point you're at in an IF journey, even if you are expecting, and I imagine even after you have a child, it still hurts to hear other people talking about pregnancy and fertility.  It seems like once you are pregnant, people think there are no longer any boundaries about what they can talk about in general, and fertility seems to be no different. 

This past weekend, one of my very close friends came to town for a visit.  She is also expecting, and already has a three year old so she offered to help me work on adding some items to our gift registry.  I really appreciated her input and expertise as a second time mom, but I didn't really appreciate the fertility type discussion.  It turns out that she and her hubby had to try for 10 months for this pregnancy.  That doesn't seem incredibly long to me, but when you get pregnant so easily with your first, I'm sure it seems like an eternity.  She mentioned that one of her co-workers knew they were trying and suggested she go to her doctor and say that they had been trying for longer than a year so that she could go on Clomid.  My friend said she didn't do this because she didn't want to end up with triplets.  Sigh!  Clearly someone who doesn't really know what they are talking about.  Who would recommend lying to your doctor? 

As the conversation continued, she started talking about how her cycle was irregular and sometimes longer than 4 weeks and how she's think she had ovulated and then 2 weeks later when she didn't get her period she realized they missed the window.  Of course, I could totally relate to dealing with a changing cycle, until she said, she even had to start using ovulation strips, like it was some really big deal.  Honestly, maybe I'm overreacting, but would you really say that to someone who had to go through doctor's appointments and fertility treatments to get pregnant after trying for over a year on their own like it was some big deal??  It's amazing how people think they can totally relate to your situation, when they actually have no idea.  I guess IF is the kind of thing that never really gets any easier. 

1 comment:

  1. I think until you walk in IF shoes they cant/wont understand.