Sunday, February 20, 2011
Looking too far ahead?
One thing that I have really noticed over the past year is how towards the end of my two week wait I start calculating when my possible due date would be if I was pregnant. And how far along I would be at upcoming holidays or how old our baby would be. Each month I do the same thing...even though I know it's not healthy and just gets my hopes up. The further into this process we get the harder I try not to do this, just because it seems like the BFNs hit me even harder when I think...now I won't have a baby before Halloween or my 30th birthday or whatever. Ugh!
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I used to be guilty of doing this, but after a year or so I stopped. Not sure why. Maybe it was the constant disappointment.
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I constantly look at the calendar, and think about how far along I might be for the next round of holidays, or up coming events. We even planned a trip to England this spring knowing we wouldn't be too pregnant to travel. Right now, I'm focused on what I now call the evil month of March. One last chance to have a baby in 2011, one last chance to be pregnant before I turn 36 (the horror!). Yeah, March is evil!
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