Anyways, now I've been back at work for almost 3 months and know that working full-time is just not what's best for our family. But is being a full-time SAHM what's best? Right now I'm feeling guilty about leaving my job. I like a lot of things (not everything though) about my job. I think the work I do is important, I like most of the people I work with, and honestly I'm not sure that this job will be around in a few years if I decided I wanted to come back to it. Although I’m not sure how big of a deal this would be since we hope to have more children in the future and I’m not sure that working full-time is something I’ll want to do then either. I imagine it only gets more difficult to work full-time as you have more children who participate in activities, need to be picked up, driven places, etc.
I think the thing that I’m most nervous about it that I’ll quit working and then decide that I don’t really like staying home full-time. Honestly I doubt this will happen since I know N and I will get into a great routine and there are so many fun and free things available to do around town, plus my parents are moving about 20 minutes away from us in a few weeks (they currently live a few hours away) and I know that we’ll be spending more time with them and they’d be happy to hang out with N a few hours a week if I needed to run errands or something. Plus even it happens, I don’t think it would be that big of a deal to change my mind and decide to go back to work. I’m actually planning on trying to find something part-time that’s either really flexible or that I can do from home. I haven’t found anything like this yet, but once N is a little older daycare would probably be cheaper and would make this more of a realistic option.
J always says that you can’t predict the future and he’s totally right. I had no idea how much I would love being home with N during maternity leave until I did it. I absolutely dreading going back to work until I went and realized it wasn’t so bad. So maybe my nervousness about committing to being a full-time SAHM is just the fear of the unknown and once I make the leap I'll absolutely know it was the right choice....and I guess if we find out it wasn't the right choice, I can always go back to working!
Change is always tough... whether it was going back to work or now, finishing work... both are things you can't know how you'll feel about until they happen. I am sure you will really love being a SAHM once you do it! I am working at home now, kind of part-time I suppose (our own business so flexible) and I absolutely love having all this time with Alidia! And you're right, if it doesn't work out for you, it isn't the end of the world. You can always go back to working if that suits you and your family best. Good luck!! :)
ReplyDeleteThis is such a tough decision. We have had some management changes in my department this week which has caused me to reevaluate if I want to stay working there. I'm just too comfortable with change and don't have it in me right now to venture out and look for something else, preferably part time like you mentioned. I didn't think I would like being a SAHM full time, but now that it's summer and I'm hearing all the fun things they get to do with their kiddos, it's making me dread going to work even more every day. If I quit, JJ would have to get a different job at the railroad which would make him work 40+ hours. It's all such a give and take. I really hope that the right decision for you becomes obvious (as I'm sure it will) and your husband is right, you can't predict the future but can change the present if you aren't happy.
ReplyDeleteI things go okay with your management changes - I think it would be even worse to have to be away from your baby at a place that you don't enjoy being. That's one good thing about my job, I have a great boss and really like most of the work we do.
DeleteSuch a hard decision.
ReplyDeleteI am very glad that I completely know I am not cut out to be a SAHM. I do not envy your feelings tugging at you each way. But I would think if you are going to do it, now is the time. I would hate to work all summer and begin being a SAHM during the winter.
That is so great your parents are moving close!!!!
It is a hard decision, which I understand. When I'm at work I miss my little guy and wish I were at home with him. But honestly there are plenty of Sunday nights that I'm thankful the next day is Monday and someone else is going to be caring for him! Maybe I wouldn't feel like that if we had family here, but when care for C is just between me and hubs, there are breaking points ;) I'm glad we know financially I can't stay home right now as we begin trying for #2. I hope one day I can though. Good luck in your decision - you made the right decision to test going back to work for 3 months, now you can take some time to test being a SAHM. Nothing is permanent. If you change your mind, you can and will figure out a way to make it all work for you!
ReplyDeleteI've had the same feelings at the end of a long day or weekend. It is nice to have a break sometimes. I hope you'll be able to stay home in the future, if that's what you want to do.
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