Lilypie First Birthday tickers

Lilypie First Birthday tickers

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Still Jealous

On Sunday evening J called his sister to tell her that we are finally pregnant.  She's due about one week before me.  After she and J chatted for a while he appeared next to me (while I was trying to catch up on my blog reading) and said that my SIL wanted to tell me a quick congratulations.  I knew she would do that, which is fine of course.

But during the conversation, I felt myself tearing up over and over.   This is odd for two reasons:
1.  I'm not usually a very emotional person, so I was caught off guard.
2.  She was talking about really normal stuff - just asking about my symptoms and talking about how we were due so close together and how exciting it was and how she wanted us to keep her updated, etc, etc. 

I couldn't help but think, as I was trying not to actually cry, that our experiences TTC were so different that there was no way she could relate to me now.  That's crazy right?  Then I read this blog post by Yolk and could totally relate to what she was saying.  I am jealous....I'm jealous that my SIL was able to get pregnant quickly and on her own.  I'm jealous that my BIL's wife got pregnant on her own (even though I know they were worried there would be problems).  I'm just jealous!  I know that sounds awful, and I hope that it doesn't continue forever, but for right now I guess it's just how I'm feeling.  I think it's different for J.  He said that once we were pregnant all of his worries and stresses about IF just went away.  Mine clearly did not.  I guess it's been really hard for me to feel comfortable sharing with people who I don't feel can understand what we've been through.  I'm just hoping it gets better with time.  

1 comment:

  1. I know this exactly!! I found out last week that a good friend of mine was also pregnant, a few weeks behind me. While I'm happy for them, I'm still insanely jealous that they a) weren't even trying (just not preventing) and b) it was a "happy little surprise".

    I'm not sure it will completely go away, but I think with time it will lessen, somewhat. Just know that there are people out there that feel the exact same way you do!!