Sometimes the right thing is hard to do. I know it's the right thing to tell our parents (and possibly siblings) about our infertility. I know that our parents would want to know so they can try to be supportive of us. I almost feel like they have a 'right' to know since they are our parents. They love us and when they find out eventually I'm worried they'll feel bad that we didn't tell them sooner.
But, I really, really don't want to tell them....and here's my list of reasons why:
1. I know it's going to be really hard. I won't see them in person for a while, so I either have to tell them over the phone or in an email. Oddly I'm leaning towards the email because I'm worried I'll start crying on the phone. Is sending your parents an email about this type of thing bad?
2. I'm worried they will want to ask us a bunch of questions and talk a lot about the situation. Again, I don't want to get too emotional.
3. My mother in law is overly dramatic and has a big mouth. I really think she'll tell other people or say things (unintentionally) that will upset me.
4. I don't want them to have to feel the heartbreak that we feel every month when we're hoping for a BFP. When we tell them I don't think we'll go into a lot of details about when we are cycling, etc. because I don't want them to feel that stress. Plus, I would still really like to be able to surprise them when we are pregnant.
5. My sister has mentioned before that she's always worried she wouldn't be able to get pregnant. I don't want to make her more nervous that she might experience IF too. (I'm sure she won't since our problem seems to be more related to J, but still, no one needs that added stress.)
6. My sister in laws also don't know how to keep things to themselves (seems like a trend on that side of the family). Actually my one sister in law probably already knows something is up because J told his brother (her husband). Maybe that side of the family already knows.
7. I'm sad that my parents will never get to experience the surprise of finding out that they are going to be grandparents. I know they will find out once we finally conceive. But now it won't be a surprise because they will know that we have been trying. I would think they might suspect something by now, simply based on our ages, but who knows?
8. How do we decide who to tell? I was thinking we would just tell our parents, but since J already told his brother, he also thinks his sister should know (I thought this was dumb logic, but whatever). I was only going to tell my parents, but maybe I should tell my sister too. And I have a brother, but he's only 23, would he really care? Ugh!
It's just so hard...I know now is the right time, but I'm such a chicken. I really think I should tell them before we have the IUI since that's actual medical treatment.
Ladies - When did you tell your families about your struggle? How did you do it?