tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19072532636347884882024-03-21T22:03:47.323-04:00Life With L and J...Infertile...we guess...what's next?Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09616675420814694058noreply@blogger.comBlogger153125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1907253263634788488.post-12579664992704983712013-01-20T19:55:00.002-05:002013-01-20T19:55:50.932-05:00Hello there!Hello there! I can't believe how much time has passed since my last post. I keep meaning to write a post but then I either feel like there is too much to say or nothing to say..... I have still been following along with all of you, I just can't figure out how to comment from my phone. I'm going with bullets to update what's been going on with us:<br />
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* I quit my job in mid-August. I had mixed emotions about the whole thing. I spent a lot of time waiting around for my company to make a decision about letting me work part time. I was 'offered' part time position there, but the pay was too low for it to be worth it for me. <br />
* During my last week of work, I was offered a new part time job at a preschool near our house. It's totally different than what I've been doing the past several years, but I decided to go for it anyway. It's 2 mornings and then one full day a week. My parents are watching N in the morning for me and then on the full day he's able to attend a nursery school program at the preschool. It's just a little extra money, since it's not a high paying job, but at least it's something :) <br />
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* I'm loving being more of a stay at home mom. I'm so much more relaxed than when I was working full-time and I love being available when N needs me for things. I did think I would have more time to get things done around the house, but that is still a challenge. N doesn't nap a lot which makes it difficult to get things done. I'm adjusting to the new schedule though, and am feeling really good about our decision.<br />
*N is doing absolutely awesome! He turned one two weeks ago - which was a surreal experience. It seems like he's been with us for an entire year, but it also seems crazy that he's not really a baby anymore. <br />
* N is still having physical therapy every week. He's now crawling, pulling to stand, and cruising around furniture. Basically, right on track for his age, but we've decided to keep doing the therapy until he can walk, just in case! <br />
* We made it to one year still nursing! Honestly, this is something I'm really proud of. When N was born, it seemed like we would never get the hang of it, but somehow we did and it became something that I really loved (except for the pumping!). Now that we've made it to a year, we are navigating the weaning process....so far it's been a challenge. More to come on that, I'm sure......<br />
* We are currently having some sleeping issues - mainly N seems to hate taking naps! However, the last few weeks we had some nighttime struggles too. For us, sleep issues seem to be constant. Just when I think we have everything figured out, new problems seem to creep up. I reserved some books on sleep at the library (again) so I will see if they have any suggestions that work for us. <br />
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I'm really going to make an effort to update more - I really like having this blog as way to kind of 'talk' things out and I know that I'm going to need that when we gear up to TTC #2!Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09616675420814694058noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1907253263634788488.post-21384516666347086452012-08-14T17:18:00.002-04:002013-01-23T16:31:00.078-05:00The Conflict - PAIL Book Club<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
In reflecting on <u>The Conflict</u> (which I found very
difficult to read) I was not really sure what point the author was trying to
make.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I understand that she believes
that having children undermines the equality of men and women, but at the end
of the book I didn’t feel like she had made any suggestions about how to work
to counteract this issue.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If her
solution is to stop having children, I don’t think that’s very realistic since
without children, we would cease to exist.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She acknowledges that countries are trying to sustain and increase their
population by encouraging families to have more children, but again doesn’t
make any real suggestions about how to balance these needs with those of sexual
equality.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I thought that some of the
factual information that was provided in the book, especially the historical
aspects, was interesting, but I didn’t think there was enough current
information to make some of her points relevant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For example, I understand that using a wet
nurse used to be common, but I’m not sure how that means that today women
shouldn’t breastfeed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think that this
book would have been better received, at least by me, if she would have
identified the issues, provided evidence to support those issues, and then
concluded with some recommendations for improvement.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I just reviewed the end of the book again and
she does seem to make one very broad recommendation that the image of the
mother must change so that women continue to choose to become mothers, however,
she doesn’t add any steps that could be taken to improve this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s like this book is more of a ‘warning’ of
what will happen if things don’t change.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Although I did not enjoy this book, I did find that she made
some valid points, particularly about the challenges faced by working mothers
and the internal struggle that comes with deciding to become a stay at home
mom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This may have resonated with me
more because I was facing this personal struggle while reading the book.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do wonder if others will think that I am
less intelligent and qualified because I have chosen to be a stay at home
mom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I reread that to myself, I
realize how ridiculous it sounds, since I know that nothing is more important
to me than creating the best life for my son!</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One of the points that Badinter focuses on early in the book
are the reasons that women choose to be a mother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She seems to think that most women become a
mother simply because it’s part of the natural course of life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I read this, I instantly thought that
this did not apply to anyone who dealt with IF.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I do agree that a lot of people choose to have children because it’s a
natural next step after getting married, but after facing IF, I am sure that is
not the case for me. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No one would go
through treatments and heartbreak like those who deal with IF do if they didn’t
desperately want to have a child.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When J
and I were struggling to get pregnant, I did evaluate why I wanted to be a
mother and always came back to one thing – I could not picture my life without
children in it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t picture J and I
growing old together without children to share our love with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now that I am a mother, I can’t imagine my
life any other way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know that choosing
to be a mother was right for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Another topic that Badinter focuses on throughout the book
is breastfeeding.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have been
breastfeeding N since he was born.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
was exclusively breastfed until 6 months and since then we’ve gradually added
solids to his diet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I absolutely love
breastfeeding.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sure it was challenging
at first to make sure that you were always with the baby when they needed to
eat, but I’m not sure that I would have wanted to be away from him anyway even
if I wasn’t breastfeeding him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I thought
many of the points she made about breastfeeding were ridiculous.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t know anyone who is disgusted by a
breast pump.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve pumped multiple times
a day since returning to work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t
enjoy pumping, but I’m sure not disgusted by it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a great way for me to provide for N when
I’m not with him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She also talked about
how breastfeeding makes it more difficult for dad to be involved with the
baby.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hear lots of people making that
point and I think that J has found lots of other ways to be involved with
N.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He always
gives him a bath, plays with him all the time, changes his diapers, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think they have bonded great and I don’t
think J not being able to feed him has prevented them from bonding in any
way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I honestly think that a way to
promote feminism and motherhood would be to make breastfeeding more socially acceptable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m amazed at how many places I’ve visited
that do not have an acceptable place to nurse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I think that some women feel like they will be stuck in their house all
the time if they choose to nurse because they won’t be comfortable going out
with the baby.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If more places had
nursing facilities it might help this. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk332728006;">Overall, I was not
a fan of this book.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I agree that
motherhood probably does set women back (unequal pay, workloads, etc.) but I
don’t think that it’s the fault of women who choose motherhood.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think that our society needs to be more accommodating
to mothers (and fathers) and understand that parenthood is a very important
part of life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09616675420814694058noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1907253263634788488.post-68349048791496168232012-07-25T21:08:00.002-04:002012-07-25T21:08:33.052-04:006 Month Doctor Visit and BLW QuestionsToday we went for N's six month doctor's appointment. N turned 6 months a few weeks ago but we had a little scheduling issue so this was the first chance we could get into the doctor. Everything went great! He is 29" tall, so we are still okay in our infant seat for just a little longer. His weight was up to 16 lbs. 3 oz. which by my calculations is still a little low, but our doc wasn't concerned. At his 4 month appointment she had some concerns since he was pretty low on the growth chart, but she said he's come up enough that she's not at all worried now. <br />
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Everything else looked really good too! He did well with his shots, just cried for a few minutes, but basically as soon as I picked him up he was back to his happy, smiley self. This was a great change from the last time I took him for shots where he cried and screamed all the way to the car. <br />
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One thing that I'm not sure that I've mentioned on here before is that we are going to be starting some physical therapy this Friday. At N's four month appointment our doctor mentioned that we should do an assessment for First Steps which is an early intervention program since he didn't seem to be quite as strong as he should have been. It took us a while to get through the referral, intake, and assessment process, but we are finally beginning therapy this Friday. Our doctor and the therapist who did his assessment stressed that his delay is very mild, but think he will really benefit from the therapy. <br />
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The biggest thing we talked about at this appointment was solid foods. We decided to try BLW with N and began offering solid foods when he turned 6 months old at the beginning of the month. Our doctor said that she had heard of BLW but didn't know much about it. She is planning on reading the books so that she can make an informed decision about whether or not to support it as a method of introducing solids. She did say that she was concerned about choking, so I explained how I had prepared the fruits and veggies N has tried so far and she said that sounded perfectly fine. So I think our plan is to continue with BLW as much as possible, the biggest issue I'm having with it is figuring out how to offer meats. Any suggestions? I read the BLW book and cookbook, but didn't get a great idea of how to first offer meats. I'm thinking of trying some pureed meats and seeing how N likes them but continuing with BLW for the fruits and veggies. Has anyone done a blended form of BLW? How did it work for you? Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09616675420814694058noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1907253263634788488.post-38068185816170088492012-07-17T09:32:00.000-04:002012-07-17T09:32:11.953-04:00Monthly PAIL Theme - Considerations on Family BuildingI decided to give the PAIL monthly theme post a try this week :)<br />
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J and I are each from families with 3 children, and when we got married I think we both assumed we'd have 3 children too. I kind of figured we'd have our first baby and we'd just keep adding to our family until we felt that it was complete. As you know, having that first baby was more difficult than we thought it would be. We went from wanting to have 3 children, to being worried that we wouldn't even have one. Now that we successfully have one child, there are still a lot of unanswered questions for us. We are positive we want to have more than one child, but are pretty sure we'll only seek treatments for one more child. After two children we think we'll be comfortable with the size of our family but would still be thrilled if we conceived again on our own.<br />
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I used to think that the 'optimal' spacing for children was between 2 and 3 years. That's how far apart my siblings and I are. I always thought it would be nice because you would probably only have one child in diapers at a time and you'd be kind of finished with the baby stage before you added to your family. I'm very close to my sister who is 3 and 1/2 years younger than me. We get along well with our brother who is 2 and 1/2 years younger than her, but we just don't seem him a lot since he doesn't live very close to us and he isn't great about 'checking in.' J is 18 months younger than his sister and 2 years older than his brother and he says all the time that he thinks they were too close in age. Three kids in college at once is VERY expensive!!!<br />
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J and I are kind of thinking about beginning the TTC process again when N turns 2. Although our RE recommends 6 months of TTC on our own before starting treatments again. So assuming we don't conceive on our own (which we were told was unlikely given J's SA) N would be 2 and 1/2 before we even started treatments. So maybe we should start TTC sooner? It's so hard to know. I'm hoping that when the time comes we'll just 'know' that it's right for us. <br />
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My biggest consideration about when to begin trying for #2 is N. When we were TTC him, I felt like all of my energy and emotions were poured into TTC. I spent a lot of time feeling really down and depressed. Now that we have N, I don't want to do that again. I feel like it's not fair to him to become an emotional wreck every month again. On one hand, I'm hoping that having him will distract us from the TTC process and not have it be so intense every month, but on the other hand, now that we know how wonderful having a baby is, I'm worried that TTC #2 will be even more emotional for me. I think it's clear that I still have a lot to work out emotionally before considering TTC #2! Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09616675420814694058noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1907253263634788488.post-27189971027623654622012-07-05T10:08:00.002-04:002012-07-05T10:08:54.357-04:006 Months and Solid FoodsYesterday N turned 6 months old! On one hand, I can't believe it's already been 6 months, but on the other, I can't believe it's only been 6 months since so much has happened since then. Since it was also the 4th of July (btw - what a fun day to have your half birthday on!) J and I didn't have to work and were able to spend the whole day as a family. We went to a parade in the morning and N did great. He seemed really interested in the police officers on motorcycles and the marching bands. The only thing he didn't like was a really loud car that kept revving it's engine. I'm not sure why it was even part of the parade. And while we are on the subject of parades, I'm so nervous when people let their kids run into the street and pick up candy that's being thrown. I know that the cars in the parade are driving slow, but lots of times the drivers are busy waving to the crowd and throwing their own candy. It would be so easy for them to not notice a kid crawling on the ground to pick up candy. Luckily we still have a few more years before N thinks he needs to get candy at the parade!<br />
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We spent the rest of the day hanging out at home, playing, cooking, and relaxing. Since N is now 6 months old, he also had his first solid food yesterday. We have decided to start with baby led weaning and see how it goes. I read the book and the cookbook and really feel like it's the way to go for us. I guess we'll just have to see though. So far, most of the people I've mentioned it to act like I'm crazy....so, we'll see how it goes. N had some banana yesterday morning. He did a pretty good job picking it up and getting it to his mouth, but he did not seem to like the taste. He was making the most awful, but still adorable, faces. <br />
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At dinner we gave him a few pieces of broccoli and he seemed to have an easier time picking them up and getting them to his mouth than he did with the banana. He also seemed to like the taste a lot better. There was some gagging since he kept sticking the 'handle' part of the broccoli in his mouth, but overall I thought it was a success. Tonight if we have time, I'm planning on giving him so broccoli again and then I'm hoping to give him something each night from now on. Then I'll need to figure out how and when I want to start having him eat solids at daycare. I mentioned to our provider that we were skipping the purees and she seemed fine with having him feed himself when we are ready. I'm kind of trying to wait to see what happens with my work schedule since it might not even be an issue. <br />
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Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday!Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09616675420814694058noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1907253263634788488.post-86511162360629579202012-07-02T21:04:00.001-04:002012-07-02T21:04:23.204-04:00Job UpdateLast Thursday, I was able to follow up with my boss about no longer wanting/being able to work full-time. She met with her boss, our agency seems to have a lot of layers of management sometimes :), and we were right, working part-time is not an option in my current position or department. They are really worried that if they let me work part-time, other people would want to do it too, which I completely understand. They are also worried that they could end up losing a full time position in our department permanently, which I also don't want to happen. Although it makes me wonder.....my boss clearly thinks that all the work our department does could still be done with me working part time, but she worries in the future that if I wasn't there she couldn't find someone to fill that same role? Maybe we have less than stellar people working for our agency???<br />
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Anyway, her boss said that she really values me as an employee and would hate for the agency to lose me, which is very flattering. She also said that they are going to be creating some new, part-time positions and posting them in the next few weeks. My boss didn't have all the details about what they would be, so they might not really be a fit for me, but she thought that they might fill what I was looking for. I'm not going to lie, I'm actually pretty excited about this possibility. So basically I'm giving it a few more weeks to see if the jobs are posted, what the pay will be, etc. I'm hoping something happens soon though, I do hate feeling like I'm in limbo!Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09616675420814694058noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1907253263634788488.post-26479776962011076642012-06-27T15:00:00.001-04:002012-06-27T15:00:15.360-04:00The First StepOn Monday, I decided to suck it up and talk with my boss about how working full-time wasn't working for our family. I was nervous about talking with her, not because I didn't think she'd understand but just because I feel bad leaving my team. I know it's a pain to hire and train new staff, and she's been really accommodating for me since N was born. I could tell she was disappointed, but said that she completely understood the position I was in. She is going to talk to her boss to see if there's anyway I can work part-time, although she and I both know that it's unlikely to be an option in our agency. She offered to change my role and hours and all kinds of things to try to keep me there, which I really appreciate, but I stuck to my guns and told her that I felt that would just be delaying the inevitable and that working full-time was just no longer an option. I'm actually proud of myself, since I'm really bad about being a 'people pleaser' and I know she really wants me to keep working there. She was meeting with her boss yesterday afternoon and I'm working from home today so I'll be interested to hear what the outcome of her conversation was. It's so crazy to think that I might be just a few weeks away from being a SAHM! Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09616675420814694058noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1907253263634788488.post-51678944221038152622012-06-22T20:25:00.001-04:002012-06-22T20:25:19.380-04:00A Tough DecisionRecently I mentioned that I was planning on becoming a SAHM in the near future. This is still definitely the plan, but something seems to be holding me back from taking the leap and I can't figure out what it is. When I was pregnant J and I briefly discussed the idea of being a SAHM, but I didn't really think I'd want to stay at home full time and we felt that it was still a good idea for me to bring in some income for the long term. I approached my boss about working part-time and while she was supportive of the idea, our HR department basically said it wasn't an option which is why I went back to work full-time after taking my 12 weeks of maternity leave. Thinking about this now, I'm not sure that I could have made part-time employment work financially given the cost of daycare for an infant.....<br />
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Anyways, now I've been back at work for almost 3 months and know that working
full-time is just not what's best for our family. But is being a full-time SAHM
what's best? Right now I'm feeling guilty about leaving my job. I like a lot of
things (not everything though) about my job. I think the work I do is important, I like most of the people I work
with, and honestly I'm not sure that this job will be around in a few years if I
decided I wanted to come back to it.
Although I’m not sure how big of a deal this would be since we hope to
have more children in the future and I’m not sure that working full-time is
something I’ll want to do then either. I imagine it
only gets more difficult to work full-time as you have more children who
participate in activities, need to be picked up, driven places, etc. <o:p></o:p><br />
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I think the thing that I’m most nervous about it that I’ll quit working and
then decide that I don’t really like staying home full-time. Honestly I doubt this will happen since I
know N and I will get into a great routine and there are so many fun and free
things available to do around town, plus my parents are moving about 20 minutes
away from us in a few weeks (they currently live a few hours away) and I know
that we’ll be spending more time with them and they’d be happy to hang out with
N a few hours a week if I needed to run errands or something. Plus even it happens, I don’t think it would
be that big of a deal to change my mind and decide to go back to work. I’m actually planning on trying to find something
part-time that’s either really flexible or that I can do from home. I haven’t found anything like this yet, but
once N is a little older daycare would probably be cheaper and would make this
more of a realistic option. <o:p></o:p><br />
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J always says that you can’t predict the future and he’s totally right. I had no idea how much I would love being
home with N during maternity leave until I did it. I absolutely dreading going back to work
until I went and realized it wasn’t so bad.
So maybe my nervousness about committing to being a full-time SAHM is just the fear of the unknown and once I make the leap I'll absolutely know it was the right choice....and I guess if we find out it wasn't the right choice, I can always go back to working! <o:p></o:p>Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09616675420814694058noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1907253263634788488.post-31059538720739612412012-06-11T11:39:00.001-04:002012-06-11T11:39:28.388-04:00Meaningful Free TimeA few weeks ago I began reading the book, Brain Rules for Baby. It was a great read and I would recommend it if you are looking for an interesting book about brain development. I found much of what it recommends to be in line with the type of parenting style J and I are hoping to have. It's always reassuring to feel like you 'know' what you are doing :) <br />
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The book mentions post-childbirth situations that put a lot of strain on marriages. One of the items it mentions is unequal workload at home. I asked J to read the section, not because I really feel like I do a lot more around the house than he does, but because I feel like I am doing A LOT and wish I felt like it was appreciated. I know he appreciates what I do, but I wish he mentioned it more often. After reading it, he asked me to read a Time magazine article from a few months ago, called "The Ch.ore Wars." It was really interesting. It was about how research shows that men and women actually spend equal numbers of hours each week providing for their family (it included hours working, caring for children, and doing stuff around the house). It basically said that men are still getting a bad wrap for not pulling their weight at home, when they actually are. Hmmmm....interesting concept. Why are they still getting this wrap?<br />
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The article said that often women feel more overwhelmed because they are responsible for 'running' the household. They have to know what everyone is doing, where they are going, and where everything is all the time. This is absolutely true at our house. It's not uncommon for J to be looking for something in our house and ask me to tell him exactly where it is. I'm almost always able to do it, but it does get frustrating at times. The article also talked about how many women don't have refreshing or high quality free time, which doesn't allow them to feel relaxed. Interesting, right? After reflecting on my own situation, I realize this is true for me too. I don't really take time away from N to relax. I admit that this is my fault because I don't make time for myself to do so. Mainly because after being away from him at work all day, I don't want to be away from him in the evenings or on the weekend. Additionally, before N was born, I relaxed by reading, watching TV, and reading blogs. These are all things that I still really enjoy doing at home. This has become more difficult because I'm still in the house and end up taking care of N if he needs something. I think the way for me to have more meaningful free time is to either figure out how to do these things away from the house sometimes or take up another hobby away from home. My project for this week is to think about what activity I might enjoy doing on a regular basis for some refreshing free time!Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09616675420814694058noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1907253263634788488.post-54169704206260295712012-06-08T09:41:00.000-04:002012-06-08T09:41:03.288-04:00Friday, Friday, Friday!I'm so happy that it's finally Friday! Since returning to work 10 weeks ago, I've been fortunate to only have to go into the office 3 days a week and work from home the other 2 days. Usually I adjust my hours slightly so that one of my days at home can really be more like a day off that I can use to hang out with N, run errands, have appointments, etc. The past few weeks things have been kind of busy at work and I've really only been able to be home one day each week. This week Friday was the only day I could make that work and the past four days have seemed really long. I honestly don't know how most working moms do it - it's so exhausting to try to get everything accomplished in the few hours you have each evening after working all day. <br />
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At the beginning of this week N decided that he wasn't going to sleep through the night anymore! On Monday and Tuesday nights he woke up at 12:30 and then again at 4. Both times he wasn't really crying, but he was hungry and right after eating he went back to sleep without a problem, which is great, but man was I tired for most of this week! Although since he weight has been a little low (at his 4 month appointment he was 14 pounds which is the 25%) I want to make sure he eats whenever he's hungry. I've been taking him to weekly weigh-ins whenever it fits in my work schedule just to make sure he's not losing weight. We are going to one this morning and I'm hoping for a good weight gain this week. He's always really happy and content and his doctor wasn't overly concerned, but I really want to make sure I'm staying on top of it! <br />
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This weekend we don't have much on the agenda, just relaxing and probably doing some work around the house. It's going to be pretty hot and humid here so we'll probably end of spending most of our time inside :) <br />
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Have a lovely weekend!Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09616675420814694058noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1907253263634788488.post-46807347634483489362012-06-02T14:38:00.005-04:002012-06-02T14:38:55.910-04:00Random UpdateI'm such a slacker on my blog! I can't believe it's been almost a month since my last post. We are doing extremely well, just really busy and honestly sometimes I'm not sure what to post about since I started this blog as a way to get out my feeling about IF. Now that we've had N I'm not sure what direction I want this blog to go. I know other bloggers have struggled with this as well and I'm just hoping I find some inspiration soon. <br />
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Anyway, here's what we've been up to:<br />
<ul>
<li>Working, working, working. I'm still currently working full time, but have pretty much decided that I'm going to quit my job. I haven't made this knowledge public yet, and I'm not sure when it will be, but it's definitely the direction we are heading. </li>
<li>Breastfeeding and pumping. Still going great, although I've have two incidents of forgetting my pump parts at work or home (one was actually this morning!) which is never good! N and I actually had our picture in the paper last week when we were at a breastfeeding weight check. I thought the article did a great job of spreading the word about the importance of breastfeeding. </li>
<li>N will be 5 months old next week. It's funny how fast and slow time moves at the same time. On one hand, I can't believe he's going to be 5 months old, but on the other hand I can't believe we've only known him for 5 months! </li>
<li>N is really tall. At his 4 month appointment he was 27 1/2 inches tall, which means were are getting pretty close to needing a convertible car seat. I've started researching some different kinds, but would love recommendations :) </li>
<li>N is now able to roll from his tummy to his back. He doesn't do it all the time, but he can do it. He's so proud of himself after he does it too!</li>
<li>We had N's follow up at the neurosurgeon this week. The good news is using the crib wedge has really helped and they said that N will not need a helmet or any further treatment. We only need to go back to see them if we notice any further problems. </li>
<li> Overall we are doing great! </li>
</ul>Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09616675420814694058noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1907253263634788488.post-41160765594429003972012-05-03T20:46:00.001-04:002012-05-03T20:46:19.802-04:00This was a long week....Wow, this has not been a great week for us! On Monday, I had to work late and didn't get home until after N was in bed which always makes me feel extremely anxious. J is great with him and I'm never worried about him when they are together, but I get really anxious when I can't be there to put him to bed, plus I hate having to pump so many times each day. The reason I had to work late was because we had a work function on the opposite side of the city from where our office is. Unfortunately, I had driven all the way across the city before I realized that I had left my pump parts at the office, so I had to drive all the way back to the office and then all the way back to the hotel where our event was. It was crazy, but somehow I made it! <br />
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On Tuesday morning I got into a car accident on my way to work. Luckily no one was hurt, I had already dropped N off at daycare, and it wasn't my fault. I was able to get a rental car the same day, but am still waiting to hear back about how much damage my car has :( <br />
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Yesterday was my day at home with N. We had a great day together! <br />
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Today is J's 30th birthday and I feel bad because I didn't have the time or energy to plan anything special for him. Also, when I picked N up from daycare today they had written on his daily sheet that he rolled over. I couldn't believe it - he's never done anything close to rolling over at home. I seriously felt like I was going to cry when I read it. I know I can't be there all the time for every little thing that happens, but I just can not believe that I missed this! <br />
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Sigh! I can't wait for the weekend.....although we are having a party for J's birthday at our house on Saturday and I haven't even started to clean. Wish me luck!!Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09616675420814694058noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1907253263634788488.post-46706571753988646252012-04-30T22:32:00.000-04:002012-04-30T22:32:03.764-04:00Poor, Little Baby!Oh my goodness, just wanted to get a quick post in to say that I can't believe how quickly time is passing between my posts. Things here are going well, just very, very busy! I'm struggling to get the hang of the whole full-time working mom thing. In the evenings after N goes to bed, I just want to relax and watch a little TV before collapsing into bed and doing it all over again the next day. I'd really like to find more balance, but for now it's just not happening. <br />
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This past weekend N seemed to be under the weather :( On Friday evening he took a short nap and when he woke up it was clear he didn't feel well. He was really congested and fussy. It also seemed like his stomach was hurting him, which is the worst, because there's really nothing you can do about that. It went on all evening and it was really difficult to get him to sleep. We ended up just having him sleep in our bed all night because every time we tried to move him to put him in his crib he woke up and started crying. The next morning he was better for an hour or two and then it got bad again. My parents were visiting us this weekend, so at least I wasn't alone in the house with all the crying, since that's the worst feeling. Saturday afternoon he had a pretty bad diaper and seemed to instantly feel better. Poor little guy, it's just the worst feeling when you know they don't feel well and there's really nothing you can do about it.<br />
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Thankfully he's been back to his happy, little self ever since then! Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09616675420814694058noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1907253263634788488.post-72800699094055419672012-04-18T21:13:00.000-04:002012-04-18T21:13:09.945-04:003 Weeks In...Wow, I can't believe how much time has passed since my last blog post! When I logged in today I was sure that I had just posted last week, but it's been almost 3 weeks - yikes! <br />
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Things here are still going well. N is awesome, as usual. He's getting bigger and more fun every single day. He seems to be doing really well at daycare too, thank goodness. The three of us seem to be in a routine that is working pretty well. Right now N goes to daycare 3 days a week. I work slightly longer days at the office 3 days a week, work from home one day a week, and then use 'flex' time to basically have one day off a week to spend with N. J drops N off at daycare in the morning on his way to work and I rush there to pick him up each evening. Honestly the worst part of my day is the drive to daycare to pick N up - I feel like it takes forever to get there and I'm so relieved when I finally get there. Side note: it takes the same amount of time to get there everyday, I think the after work traffic just makes me crazy! Plus it makes me sad to think about how long he's been there. <br />
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What seems to be working well:<br />
* Pumping at work - so far I've been able to keep up with how much N eats at daycare. This might be because I only have to pump 3 days a week since on the days I stay home N is with me. <br />
* Having J drop N off at daycare. The few times I've had to drop him off I felt terrible. I know he's fine while he's there but for me it's much easier to leave him at our house with J when I go to work. This is going to get trickier because J is starting a new job next week and his hours are pretty different from his current job. I'm afraid that I'll have to do most of the dropping off and picking up, which I am not looking forward to :( <br />
* Having a day off each week to spend with N.<br />
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What's not working so well:<br />
* Working from home one day a week. It's hard to be home with N and not really be able to give him or my work my full attention. I'm going to keep trying to make it work because I like being available to nurse him during the day, but wow, it's rough!<br />
* Feeling like there is never enough time to get everything done that I need and want to. Basically what seems to be suffering is me feeling relaxed.<br />
* Sleep! N is sleeping great, but still usually gets up once a night. After he nurses he goes right back to sleep which is great, but it takes me a long time to fall back asleep, which makes me really tired in the mornings. <br />
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Basically, going back to work has gone so much better than I expected it too. I'm not sure how long I'll want to keep being a full-time working mom, but for now it's manageable. I'm not making any decisions about my job until I've been back for two months. I really want to give it a fair chance and then make the decision that will be best for our family. <br />
Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09616675420814694058noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1907253263634788488.post-27511176625045344872012-03-30T18:07:00.000-04:002012-03-30T18:07:10.302-04:00Day 2The second day of work/daycare went well! J had an early morning meeting so I dropped N off at daycare and made it to work by 8 AM - I was thrilled. Pumping went well again and it was another slowish day at work which was nice. We're going to be really busy starting next week so I was glad to have another calm day. <br />
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N did really well at daycare again today. He took much better naps than he did yesterday which I think is a good sign. They also said he didn't cry at all today when he took his bottles which is great. I guess yesterday he cried each time he took one. One thing that has struck me as odd is that he's only eating like 2 oz. at most of his feedings, and then eating another 2 oz. about an hour later. It's odd because he's actually eating more frequently at daycare than he nurses when he's home with me. I kind of expected it to be the other way around. Has this happened to anyone else? So far daycare doesn't think it's a big deal and it doesn't bother me at all as long as he's being fed when he's hungry. I am wondering if I should send smaller bottles though so he can have a fresh one each time he's hungry. Thoughts? Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09616675420814694058noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1907253263634788488.post-32189724734185875792012-03-29T17:13:00.000-04:002012-03-29T17:13:27.330-04:00We Survived!Well, I survived! My first day back at work wasn't too bad. I was sad when I dropped N off at daycare, but there weren't any 'real' tears. I was a little teary in the car after I left, but that was it. There wasn't very much 'work' for me to do today so I spent the day reading through the hundreds of emails that had accumulated during the past 12 weeks, catching up with some of my co-workers, and pumping and pumping and pumping. Hopefully the pumping will continue to go as well as it did today. I was able to pump more milk than N ate at daycare which I was nervous about. The lactation room that my office has worked out really well too. I know everyday won't be as smooth as today was because next week, for example, we are working at a different location all week. I'm planning to get there early to figure out where I will be able to pump. The worst part about today was probably the annoying people in my office who would drop my cubicle to ask if I was missing my baby. Seriously? Of course I miss him! And thanks for bringing it up to make me sad about it! (These are people who I'm not friendly with which makes these types of conversations even stranger.) <br />
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N did great at daycare (according to the workers). He ate all of the milk I sent and took two naps. Well, three if you could the one he was taking when I got there to pick him up and he's still taking now. It looked to me like his naps were pretty short and far apart, but I guess they'll have to figure out what works for them. I told them how often I put him down at home, but I'm not sure that they were able to follow that exactly which I understand since there are so many little ones there. <br />
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One thing that I am really bad about in life is raising concerns/being confrontational. For example, yesterday when I picked N up from daycare he had the pacifier that I keep in his car seat clipped to his clothes. He wasn't using it, but I had provided a different pacifier that I wanted him to use during nap times only. I didn't really say anything because I hate to seem annoying, but when I think about it I know I should feel like I can tell them things since I'm paying for them to take care of my baby. I know I'm going to have to get over this since I want to make sure that N is getting the absolute best care possible. Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09616675420814694058noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1907253263634788488.post-29337595385939704822012-03-28T21:30:00.000-04:002012-03-28T21:30:47.700-04:00LaughingN started laughing yesterday, It happened the first time while he was sitting up in the boppy and I was folding laundry. I was holding up a shirt to fold it so I didn't see his face when it happened, but it was definitely the most laugh like sound I've ever heard him make. Then last night while we were eating dinner N kept laughing at J. It was adorable. I'm so glad we didn't miss that first laugh :) <br />
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N went to daycare today for a few hours. They said that he did well, but he was crying when I left which was really sad. He napped for about an hour and took his bottle well which is great. I'm hoping that he does well tomorrow too. I had a hard time leaving him today and it was only for a few hours so I can't imagine how difficult it will be tomorrow. Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09616675420814694058noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1907253263634788488.post-50251725499565570272012-03-27T17:45:00.000-04:002012-03-27T17:45:43.487-04:00Time is Flying ByI absolutely cannot believe how fast the past 12 weeks have gone. I know everyone says that, but I don't think I really believed it until after N was born. He will be 12 weeks old tomorrow and I'll be returning to work the day after that. Tomorrow he'll be going to daycare for a few hours in the afternoon while I get my hair cut (one of the many things that went to the back burned after he was born!). I'm hoping that having him go for a few hours tomorrow will help me feel better about leaving him there all day on Thursday. I know he'll be fine, I'm actually more worried about myself. I'm afraid that I won't physically be able to leave him at daycare. I wonder if that has ever really happened. A mom who becomes frozen at the daycare and can't physically leave? Probably not! I'm sure I'll be able to pull it together by Thursday. <br />
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I'm actually probably more worried about whether or not I'll be able to get both of us ready in time for me to make it to work. We tried practicing our morning timing the past two days and it wasn't great either day. I want to be able to nurse N before I leave for work (around 7:30) so I figured if I got him up at 7, I'd be able to nurse and change him right before I left and then J would drop him off at daycare on his way to work. N's also been going down for a morning nap about an hour and half after he wakes up, so I thought getting him up at 7 would help him to not be ready for a nap immediately after arriving at daycare. Yesterday N woke up at 6:30 and took his first nap right around 8:00, the exact time he'll be arriving at daycare! Hmmm.....last night N woke up more than once (this is very unusual) which made me extremely tired this morning and we had to wake him up at 7. He seemed to do okay with that and has napped pretty well today so hopefully his body will adjust well to being on more of a set schedule. I'm crossing my fingers that waking up more than once last night was just a fluke. <br />
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Other than starting to freak out about having to go back to work, everything here has been wonderful. N continues to be so much fun! He smiles all the time and is so close to laughing, which I can't wait for :)Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09616675420814694058noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1907253263634788488.post-72130970692218338152012-03-19T10:12:00.000-04:002012-03-19T10:12:04.430-04:00First Mini-VacationThis past weekend we went on our first little 'vacation' since N was born. My brother lives in Springfield, IL which is about 3 and a half hours away from Indy. My parents, sister, BIL, and us all drove in for the weekend. We had a wonderful time - N was awesome. It was his first time staying in a hotel and he did great. Both days he went to sleep without a problem and only woke up once, basically just what he's been doing at home since moving to the crib in his own room. On Saturday we went to a St. Patrick's Day parade and the Abraham Lincoln Library and Museum (which is very interesting, by the way). I wasn't sure how everything would go with nursing and carting N all over town but he did great, plus there was a nursing room in the visitor center and the museum which worked out perfect. The nursing room happened to be occupied at the museum when we needed it, which was funny because we only saw one other baby the whole time we were in the museum - really, what are the chances? So we just nursed on a bench that was in the restroom which worked out fine. The museum staff was great, they were so concerned and apologetic that the room was occupied. Figuring out where to nurse when we are out and about has been one of my biggest concerns since N was born, but it's turning out to not be as big of an issue as I thought. I do wish there were more 'nursing friendly' places of course, but so far we haven't run into too many issues. Plus, it's not too difficult to nurse in the car when you need to! Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09616675420814694058noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1907253263634788488.post-19205949714227519652012-03-08T14:00:00.000-05:002012-03-08T14:00:21.404-05:002 MonthsN had his 2 month doctor's appointment yesterday. Everything looked great. He does have a little cold, but she said it was nothing to worry about. He seemed to do pretty well with his two month shots too. They had me hold him on my lap when he got the shots - so sad :( He was screaming and crying right after he got them, with tears streaming down his little face and everything. He fell asleep in the car on the way home and when he woke up to nurse an hour or so later he was smiling and happy so I thought all was well. We headed off to church to help serve dinner before the midweek Lenten service, and when it was time for N to nurse again he was crying and crying and crying. I couldn't get him to nurse or calm down so I gave him a small dose of tylenol. I'm not sure if it was from the shots or what, but we ended up just coming home. Poor little guy - it's so sad when you don't know what's wrong with them! <br />
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He's also slept great the past two nights - 9 hours each night! I'm almost afraid to write that down for fear that he'll never do it again. He's also doing really well with the crib wedge, so we're thinking about trying to move him into his own room over the weekend. <br />
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I can't believe he's already 2 months old (actually 9 weeks yesterday). I'm heading back to work in 3 weeks and already dreading it. I honestly didn't think that I would love being home with him as much as I do. I guess we'll see how it goes, but I'm seriously considering being a stay at home mom. Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09616675420814694058noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1907253263634788488.post-7985262388722855372012-03-01T05:47:00.000-05:002012-03-01T05:47:08.295-05:00Ugh!Well, it seems that I have developed some type of yucky cold. I'm not sure if it's the unseasonably warm weather/allergies starting earlier or what, but it's definitely unpleasant. It's especially difficult to fight off this type of thing when you aren't getting enough sleep! By last night I was feeling somewhat better and slept great until N woke up for a 3:30 feeding. After I put him down at 4:00 I couldn't fall back asleep. I kept coughing and tossing and turning and finally after about 45 minutes just gave up and moved the couch. Now, it's an hour later and I'm still reading blogs online :) I just know that if I head back to bed one of the following will happen:<br />
1. I'll start coughing uncontrollably. <br />
2. I'll lie there completely awake in the darkness and start thinking about all the things I need to try to get done (clean my carpets before N's baptism party on Sunday!!).<br />
3. I'll fall asleep and N will wake up 10 minutes later :) Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09616675420814694058noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1907253263634788488.post-5871402782180390032012-02-28T13:16:00.000-05:002012-02-28T13:16:02.262-05:008 Weeks and Finding Our GrooveIt's seemed that the impossible has happened....I think I'm getting the hang of this mothering thing. When I think back to the first few week's of N's life, I couldn't imagine feeling like I could leave the house, let alone feel like I knew what I was doing. It's seemed like in the last two weeks, things are starting to fall into place. N and I have really developed a routine. He eats every 2-3 hours during the day and I'm getting better at knowing what he needs when and sometimes even before he cries. <br />
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The only thing that still seems to be hit or miss is his sleeping schedule. Most days I really try to follow the Eat, Play, Sleep routine...but it doesn't always work. Sometimes he falls asleep nursing and I can't get him to wake back up and other times he just doesn't seem to get tired even if he's been up for several hours. I'm hoping that some type of consistent schedule develops in the next few weeks because he's going to start going to daycare at the end of the month and I'll need to give them some idea of what his daily schedule is like. <br />
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Night time sleep is usually pretty good. N has a really consistent bedtime, he usually goes down for the night between 8:00 and 8:30. Whenever he starts looking sleepy we change him, read a few stories, and then nurse him and put him to bed. He actually does really well falling asleep on his own most nights if he doesn't fall asleep while nursing. He uses a pacifier and we usually have to replace it for him a few times, but that's really it. He's been waking up once a night. For the past few weeks he's nursed and gone right back to sleep without a problem. I'm still tired, of course, since he's a pretty slow nurser so I'm usually up for about 45 minutes total, but overall, not too bad. Last night wasn't great. He was up for over 2 hours. It was crazy, he didn't even seem tired. At least he was crying. Eventually, I just gave up and brought his bouncer in our room. I don't know how quickly he feel asleep, but I didn't hear him make any noise between 3 and 7. Hopefully he'll get back on track tonight. <br />
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Any advice on trying to figure out a schedule for daycare? Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09616675420814694058noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1907253263634788488.post-44376454718672606632012-02-18T17:36:00.000-05:002012-02-18T17:36:58.071-05:00Crib Wedge!After I posted on Wednesday, I called the neurosurgeon's office back and left a message with the physician's assistant about my difficulties and concerns with finding a sleep positioner for N to use. She called me back later this afternoon and was wonderful. She agreed that positioners are now very difficult to find and that she was going to go out this weekend to see what was available so they could make better recommendations to patients about what to use. I told her that I was able to find a crib wedge but that it was too wide and thin to force N to turn his head to the side. She suggested that we cut it to fit our needs. She also said that since N is so young, he's not likely to roll over or move around and get stuck under a pillow or positioner, which I guess is why they are no longer used. What we ended up doing was buying a crib wedge that is made for babies with reflux and cutting it in half. We taped the two pieces together (on top of each other) and put the wedge under the sheet in the pack and play where N currently sleeps. The sheet does get pulled up a bit around the wedge, but it easily forces N to turn his head to the non-flat side, so basically it seems to be working. I was still nervous about using it last night, but he seemed to do really well with it. We will only have to use it for a few months and right now he's still sleeping in our room where I feel better able to check on him. I originally thought I'd try to get him to sleep in his room at around 6 weeks (which is right now!) but now with having this extra thing in his bed, I'm thinking about putting it off longer. I know I'm probably over-reacting, but oh well! Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09616675420814694058noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1907253263634788488.post-38408770496856185972012-02-15T09:47:00.000-05:002012-02-15T09:47:28.661-05:00Specialist AppointmentYesterday was N's appointment with the Neurosurgeon. Thankfully the appointment went incredibly well. N was a total angel. He fell asleep in the car on the way to the appointment and woke up when it was time to get weighed and measured. He was so sweet - no crying at all, probably because we didn't have to take off his clothes :) - he hates that part at the pediatrician. The doctor said N definitely has a flat spot on the side of his head which could be caused by how he sleeps (always with his head to that side) or in utero, which is what I think because his ear on that side is a little indented and has been since birth. The doctor said it's a very easy fix, we just need to use a positioner that will prevent N from being able to sleep with his head to the right for about 3 months and then he said his head would be perfect :) Sound easy, right? Well, sleep positioners have basically all been recalled or taken off the market as a SIDS risk. Hmmm - the PA in the office said I might have to get creative and use a device made for reflux but put it on N's side instead of up by his head. Well, after searching online and at the two big baby stores in town, I'm still at a loss. The boppy pregnancy pillow seems to look the most promising, but there's a huge warning right on the package that it's designed for adults only and is not safe for infants to use. I did find one sleep positioner online, but again, there's so much information about how they are no longer safe to use. I guess I'll give the office a call again today to double check about what I should do. Of course, I want to follow their advice, but I also don't want to feel like I have to stay up all night watching N sleep to make sure he doesn't get trapped under some unsafe sleep thing. Has anyone had experience with this?Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09616675420814694058noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1907253263634788488.post-44879359477163682862012-02-09T16:50:00.000-05:002012-02-09T16:50:25.798-05:00One Month AppointmentYesterday N had his one month doctor's appointment. He hadn't been sleeping well for the past few days so I was kind of dreading the appointment. His sudden sleeping issues were on my list of questions for the doctor. N had a great morning and was on the perfect nursing schedule for our 1:30 appointment. However, he somehow got himself overtired right before it was time for us to leave and screamed for 10 full minutes in the car. It's seriously one of the worst feelings because they are facing backwards so you can't see them and they can't see you so they just scream and scream. He fell asleep 5 minutes before we got to the office. Of course he woke up crying again when I took off all of his clothes for the exam since he hates being cold - thankfully this time I remembered to bring a receiving blanket with me to wrap him up in while we waited. <br />
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I talked with his doctor about the dry, flaky skin on his face which she said was actually cradle cap and recommended a cream to use on it. I'm hoping to make it out to the store to pick that up today. He also has some little red bumps on his face that seem to come and go. As I thought, they are just baby acne and there's really nothing to do about them. Poor little guy, between the super dry skin and red bumps, his little face is a mess :( <br />
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We also talked about his sleeping and how by two months I need to be laying him down awake so he learns to self-soothe. I completely understand this and have been reading several books and websites about this, but none of them really tell you what to do to help a baby fall asleep. Once N is all worked up and crying we have a lot of trouble getting him calmed down and back to sleep. One day this week I decided to try working on that for some of his daytime naps. We went through 2 entire naps cycles without him sleeping at all - he got so worked up that I wasn't even able to nurse him to sleep when I tried. I'm hoping we get the hang of something soon - it seriously makes me feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. <br />
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I also asked her about the shape of N's head. I've noticed for the past week or so that N tips his head to the right a lot. He likes to sleep with his head to the right and favors looking to the right. He's able to turn it to the left, but doesn't do it often. I also noticed that the right side of his head appears to be kind of flat. I figured I would ask about it and she would tell me that it's normal and would even out as he becomes more mobile. Well, I was wrong - she said she was referring us to a neurosurgeon. She told me to start forcing N to turn his head to the left and to do at least 30 minutes of tummy time a day. Instantly I figured that I had done something wrong to cause his head to look like this - the doctor didn't say this, it's just how I felt. The doctor's office called today and we have an appointment for next Tuesday with the neurosurgeon. They said the appointment is so soon just because they had an opening, not because it was an emergency or anything. I'm so nervous about this appointment. I'm hoping that since N is so young we'll be able to correct this quickly and easily. <br />
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In other good news, N is 23 and 3/4 inches long (97%) and weighs 9 lbs. 2 oz. (50%). His doctor said that he is right on track! At least I can feel good the fact that he's growing well! Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09616675420814694058noreply@blogger.com3